(Always) On The Verge
I keep the Christmas lights on. From an environmental sustainability-perspective, I should be preaching, and practicing, restraint during this season. But I rarely do. For a week or so, I allow myself to indulge, even purposely putting myself, against my better judgment, in the midst of it all at the mall and wholesale store. Feeling part of something larger and so chaotically participatory and, yes, even indulgent, is remarkable. I'm not generally a carefree shopper, but rather a more strategic, well-researched one, particularly the higher the price point is of whatever I'm seeking. But the new toaster and bag of chocolates currently sitting under my tree were impulse purchases, I admit. During the rest of the year, I tend to favor investing in experiences over products. But just like with consulting, the output of which is often intangible, having something to hold, wear, or use can satisfy some subtle yet palpable inherent yearning that perhaps goes back to human origins when the quality of your spear contributed to if you would eat or starve. In two days, it will be over, both too soon and not soon enough. I want to leave this planet exhausted, having seized every meaningful opportunity that I could, whether occasionally navigating Christmas crowds, or trying to inflect businesses, urban infrastructure, and social systems toward more vibrant and sustainable practices. When I've woken the last few mornings, I have been momentarily surprised by twinkling glow shining in the darkened apartment. The lights make me happy if only because I know I'll put them away in a week or so. Today, however, they remind me of preciousness, opportunity, and generous gift of now.