Upended
You can't relax. Ease triggers habit. I discovered this while having to drive on the left here in New Zealand. Left, left, left, left, the silent mantra plays in my mind every time I pull out or turn. Having traffic around helps. Such context provides visual guardrails and reinforces norms. The most difficult elements have turned out to be the turn signal and the wipers levers, which are backward and lack convenient visual cues. If I don't have a moment to consciously consider which is which, I'll confuse them half the time. I try to anticipate turns. The rear-view mirror is also on the wrong side, so I don't use it as much as usual. The most dangerous times are when I've driven for a bit and start to feel comfortable. Some other part of my brain takes over, the one that every consumer brand wants to access, that will act without thinking. The other day, we sat stopped on a two-way road with a long line of others, having been informed of a bad accident up ahead. Needing a cause to explain the unexpected interruption, I immediately conjured one: someone forgot and drifted to the wrong side of the road. As we started to move again after more than an hour, I embraced that bit of fear, possessed it like a valued talisman, whether it was true or not. I'm doing my best to retrain myself while I’m here, out of necessity. Change doesn't come easily, even when it’s an imperative. In the pressure of the moment, I inadvertently wipe the windshield before turning left and am reminded, yet again, of how deep habit can go.
